Develop these characteristics in yourself to become a more confident you
If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is, too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.
— T. Harv Eker
Everything you’ve been taught about confidence is wrong.
People who are self-confident aren’t the loudest ones in the room. Self-confident people don’t brag about how much money they make, insecure people do that. Insecure people make it a point to argue and always be right, instead of learning and growing.
A person who is self-confident has a mindset of growth, while an insecure person believes that their mindset is fixed.
Self-confident people do get what they want in life and if you want to get what you want, you need to become more self-confident.
Self-confidence can be learned and if you practice developing these 7 characteristics then you will become a more confident person.
“We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say.”
— Zeno of Citium
1. They listen more than they speak
Self-confident people take a genuine interest in getting to know the person they’re talking to by asking open-ended questions. By asking open-ended questions their conversations are peaceful, even if they don’t agree with what is being said.
It’s more important to them that the other person feels they are understood. When the other person feels they are understood, their relationship deepens with the person who is listening to them.
Highly self-confident people tend to develop better relationships with people over time because they actively listen and when they do speak their words carry more meaning.
Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.
— Peter T. Mcintyre
2. Being wrong is not a fear
People who are self-confident don’t fear being wrong. They welcome being proved wrong with open arms because learning what is right is more important than being right. Learning is what keeps them going and being wrong is a part of the process of becoming right. Every confident person you know has had moments when they were wrong. They probably have them daily.
Also when it comes to being wrong self-confident people are comfortable saying they don’t have the answers, and will follow up by saying they can go find out.
3. They ask for help when they need it
Being proved wrong goes hand in hand with asking for help. Self-confident people know that asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. They know there is no shame in asking for help.
Asking for help gives them a chance to speak with someone who is an expert, and that helps confident people learn something new and better themselves.
Asking for people also helps them build better relationships because it shows they respect what someone else knows and feel they can learn from them.
“The better you feel about yourself, the less you feel the need to show off.”
— Robert Hand
4. They lift others up
People who are self-confident don’t need the spotlight to be on them, they share their light with the people around them, and lift them higher at the same time.
Confident people lift others higher by celebrating and supporting other people. They encourage the people around them and do not participate in gossip. They don’t judge or harshly criticize people to tear them down. They know that more good is done by building people than tearing them down.
Confidence is when you believe in yourself and your abilities, arrogance is when you think you are better than others and act accordingly.
— Stewart Stafford
5. They say no and set firm boundaries for how they will be treated
People who are self-confident can say no when they need to. Not everything is for them and they don’t feel the need to do everything and be everything for everyone.
People who lack self-confidence tend to say yes to every opportunity that is presented to them and lack clear boundaries for how they want to be treated and let people treat them any kind of way. When you lack self-confidence you tend to let people run over you and you end up feeling used and taken advantage of in the end.
When you say no you maintain your own time and emotional health, confident people know this and protect their time and emotional health. When a confident person says no, they mean no and set a boundary on what they will do. Setting a boundary and saying no signal to other people that you have respect for yourself and you set the tone for how you want to be treated.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
— Eleanor Roosevelt
6. Security Comes From Within
No one can make a self-confident person feel insecure about themselves. They know their worth. They know who they are is who they choose to be. Insults thrown at them go in one ear and out the other.
Self-confident people know that when they are insulted it’s more about how the other person feels about themselves and they are acting out and trying to make other people feel the same way they feel.
They don’t need to defend who they are to people because they have more important things to do. Defending yourself from every insult and negative remark thrown at you get is wasting your time and energy.
7. When the going gets tough and the self-confident keep going
We all face adversity in life. Self-confident people are aware of this and know every set back is a set up for something greater. Every failure puts them one step closer to success.
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
― Thomas A. Edison
The only definition of failure is not going anymore. That’s why people who are self-confident don’t stop they find a way to refine their vision to reach their goals. They get up and try again.
You can become a highly self-confident person
Being self-confident isn’t reserved for just a few people. You can become a highly self-confident person as well. These are all characteristics that can be learned, and you will get better with time.
If you want to develop more confidence in yourself then adopt these characteristics as your own. Listen more than you speak to gain more valuable information and develop better relationships.
Don’t fear being wrong because being wrong and acknowledging when you are wrong brings you closer to being right. Don’t be afraid to ask help when you need it from an expert, every teacher had to be a student, and when you ask for help you are giving someone the chance to teach you and lift you higher.
When people lift you higher do the same and lift the next person higher.
Protect your time and emotional health by saying no more often and setting boundaries and sticking to them.
Becoming a self-confident person means not seeking security and validation from the outside world, people who display great self-confidence know that security comes from within and they validate themselves.
Last but least keep going! No matter how hard things get, there is always a breakthrough on the other end.
7-day practice to become a more confident you
Practice these characteristics one at a time for a whole week.
One day try to listen more than you speak, the next day tell yourself if you’re wrong about something you’re going to be okay with it and find out the information you need to find out.
Day three is going to be about asking for help when you need it.
Day four any opportunity you have you’re going to lift someone else higher. you’re going to celebrate others.
Day five practice saying no and creating boundaries.
Day six when you wake up in the morning choose who you want to be and if you are insulted or a negative remark comes your way remember that person is talking about themselves not you.
Day seven keep going and practice these characteristics again for another week.
Practice doesn’t make perfect practice makes progress and anything worth achieving is going to take practice.
A more confident you is 7 days away.
And remember you are better than you think are!
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